we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
