I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize