If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
