I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
