Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
