i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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