I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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