Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
