They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
