For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
