It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
