so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize