it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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