Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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