and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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