mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
