So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
