Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm like, not good at living.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
