her vagine was all disorganized.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
