i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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