Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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