I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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