we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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