no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
