Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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