Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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