I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
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I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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