I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Randomize
