ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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