I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
