Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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