i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize