People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize