hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
