He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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