Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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