You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
PANTIES FOUND
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
