i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something