They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
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