dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.