Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.

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(248): I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out. http://tfl.nu/085c

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way

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(215): Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger" (215): i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way http://tfl.nu/i786

Replies (16) Good night (2729) Bad night (743)
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(812): View more from Indiana

if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation

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(812): if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation http://tfl.nu/uyko

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

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(219): I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives. http://tfl.nu/v9m4

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(631): View more from New York

This beer is not sobering me up at all

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(631): This beer is not sobering me up at all http://tfl.nu/2fz8

Replies (13) Good night (7578) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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(519): I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen? http://tfl.nu/tjza

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(614): View more from Ohio

Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.

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(614): Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop. http://tfl.nu/e8lv

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

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(774): I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands. http://tfl.nu/r3el

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(682): View more from Texas

She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.

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(682): She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels. http://tfl.nu/oykt

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(253): View more from Washington

Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

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(253): Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead. http://tfl.nu/ww0m

Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (235)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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(541): I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out. http://tfl.nu/0h9b

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(513): View more from Ohio

Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY

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(513): Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY http://tfl.nu/rc9r

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(817): View more from Texas

My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person

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(817): My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person http://tfl.nu/r4rm

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(+61): View more from Australia

It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby

(1+61): View more from

Yah. Thai people are way too trusting

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(+61): It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby (1+61): Yah. Thai people are way too trusting http://tfl.nu/j4hl

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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(724): Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ynfj

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