in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
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he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So much puke
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol