why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.