He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......