i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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