the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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