I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
and she was petting her beer can
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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