help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
