I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
