you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
