I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
