Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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