hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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