Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
