my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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