I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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