he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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