I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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