is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize