I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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