Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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