the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Drunk is a universal language darling
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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