similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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