You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He felt like a one man threesome
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
