Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
