My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
