Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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