Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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