based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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